Always loved body surfing, the crush of a wave, sand and gravel and urchins beating away at my belly, losing my breath then catching it, tossed under, thrown above, pulled in one direction or another it seemed always a great adventure, these dreams I don't understand the lack of fear, reasoning is easy, I am calm and confident, I see you as the person I've always known, I am not worried you are strong and as young as I, all the years spent admiring you blaming and wanting more from you, identifying pains I blamed on you, then with a violent suddeness there comes a voluminous wave, it rises from my core of balance and I blink, lose ground, I am afraid of losing you I am not ready. . .
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